Inspirational Letters:
Death is an unavoidable aspect of the human condition and while the impact of grief is inevitably felt, its effects are tangible. When my husband of 25 years died at the age of 59 after two diagnosis of rare blood diseases, a stem cell transplant and a bone marrow transplant, griefs tenacles found their way into my life with a vengeance. In the beginning, getting off the couch for short periods of time, were all I was capable of. But as time went on and the fog cleared just a bit, I began to find solace in an unsuspected place. My garden. It should not have surprised me as I have spent a good part of my career in the field of horticultural therapy education and touting the restorative power of the garden. But when it came to my own grief it was still a surprise to me that the mere action of putting my hands in the dirt, smelling new growth, and clearing away the leaves to see bulbs begging to spring forth, all gave me joy. What an unexpected feeling while moving through grief. It all goes back to the hope that every gardener knows is possible when you plant a seed. The hope that in time it will grow.
It's that hope that is one of the reasons horticultural therapy (HT) works. Simply stated, horticultural therapy is using plants and plant activities to foster healing and well-being in a variety of settings. As a modality, HT is used in many places, including in hospice settings and grief groups around the country.
What is it that makes the act of gardening a good choice for those who are grieving? David Kamp, a landscape architect who designs therapeutic landscapes for health care facilities, states that "nature helps to restore a sense of well-being, reduces stress, fosters dignity and offers a sense of hope and promise by virtue of its power to produce memorable experiences, powerful and positive feelings, and a sense of connectedness to the world around us" (Kamp, 1996).
It's that sense of being connected to something bigger than ourselves that can help root us at a time of great disconnectedness. Practically speaking a variety of horticultural-based activities can be used in clarifying feelings and expressing emotion. Plants & flowers have powerful symbolic meanings that vary with different cultures. The uniqueness of the grieving ritual involving plant material is an inherent connection with both life and death and the life cycle of the plant provides us with a metaphorical framework for contextualizing death that is illustrative and meaningful. Live plant material can also bring innate feelings of peace and contentment as we appreciate its sensual beauty. According to an article, Healing Grief Through Horticultural Therapy, HT activities used to facilitate healing emotions can serve to transform the mourning process. Participation in a grieving ritual can offer a dimension of comfort while it encourages a crucial step towards the resolution of grief (Mars 1999).
For me, actively clearing the garden and making way for new plants, new growth, was an act of faith and helped me to find a way forward.
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